What are Your Eyes Saying?

What Are Your Eyes Saying?

Body language can speak volumes without your voice ever saying a word. Most people can tell when someone is angry or in a defensive position just by the way they are standing. But what do your eyes reveal? What secrets are they telling that you may not revealed? Think back, have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone who won't look you in the eyes as they spoke? What did this tell you? How many times have you heard parents say to a child "look at me when I am talking to you?" Without eye to eye contact communications can be misconstrued.

When you are trying to convey a message to someone whether it is in a relationship or in your career, it is vitally important to connect with them by having eye to eye contact. It is the first step in building any type of connection. Your eye contact or lack there of will express far more than any words that you can speak. The following are some important factors to remember about eye contact.

Avoiding eye contact reflects a negative language and energy. A person who avoids making eye contact can be perceived in different ways. It can reflect fear, shame or even dishonesty regardless of what you are saying. It can also show a lack of self confidence and low self esteem. Even if you are a genuinely shy person by nature, the lack of eye contact will perceived by others as devious or untrustworthy words.
Eye contact, however, does not mean a stare down competition pupil to pupil either. This can give the impression of aggression. Eye to eye contact can include looking at a person's eyelids or even the bridge of some ones nose.
The general rule of thumb is to maintain eye contact long enough to notice what the color of their eyes are.
Sunglasses are for just that, the sunshine. Wearing sunglasses or any deeply tinted glasses indoors makes people uneasy in general. No one can tell where the person is looking with them on. It is perceived as though the person wearing the sunglasses has something to hide.
Starring too long may be perceived as a sign of hostility or over aggressiveness. When meeting someone you don't know and you see them start to shift or look away purposefully, don't force your gaze on them. It will make a definite wrong impression.
The most important rule of eye contact is simple. When you meet some one's eyes, match it with a warm smile. The smile will ensure a sincerity in your eyes as well.
So many things are determined not by the words we speak, but by the body langue we communicate with. When having a conversation, be sure to the look the person in the eyes, notice the eye color, then look away. Returning your eyes frequently to the other persons without a starring gawk.

Be sensitive to cultural differences as well. Many cultures consider direct eye contact very differently than other cultures. This is even more important when the eye contact is with someone of the opposite sex. Not all cultures approve of a female looking directly into a male's eyes.

Awareness of eye communication is a key to communication with a sincere desire to develop a relationship either personally or with a business contact. It only takes a few seconds to give a warm and sincere impression or a devious and untrustworthy impression.